Biography

MARGARET TINNENY ALFORD

Margaret Mary Tinneny was born on April 16, 1928 in Queen Charlottes Hospital in North London, England. She was the fifth of six children of William and Mary Ellen McShane Tinneny. The family resided at 6 Fitzroy Square, Saint Pancras when she was born. Both of her parents were from Belturbet, County Cavan, Ireland. They reconnected in London, England after World War I and were married in 1921. When she was born her father was employed as a motor mechanic in Pancras, London. Margaret’s siblings were Mary Patricia “Pat”, Robert, Joseph, Myriam, and George.

The life of an irish family in north London in the 1930’s was not easy, but the strong faith of the family, and especially that of Mary Ellen, kept the family going. Margaret suffered from epilepsy as a child, which may have been caused by an early trauma when she was an infant. Margaret about 7 years old.

She was 11 years old when Hitler invaded Poland and the Second World War started. As a result, she was evacuated from London with her school and, after a few adventures on the way, ended up in Tony Pandy, South Wales, a mining town with a male voice choir that made a great impression on her.

Children of London being evacuated from Euston Station to Wales by the thousands. Source: Mirrorpix.

In later years, Margaret recalled how her school was greeted when they arrived in Toney Pandy, South Wales, “ they had hung flags across the street, you’d think we had won the war!”. She said the family who took care of her was as kind as could be, but she missed home terribly. In one of the most daring actions of her life, she decided to get a train back to London with her friend, Eileen Cooze. Neither of them had money so they couldn’t buy a ticket. When the conductor came along, they locked themselves in the toilet to avoid being obliged to get off the train! In that way, she returned to London before she was meant to. That daring action, however, was rather out of character.

Margaret’s sister Mariam and her brother George were also evacuated during the war but her sister Pat and brothers Robert and Joseph were old enough not to be evacuated. Her brother Joe did leave London and stayed with his Uncle George and Aunt (name) Forsyth in Yorkshire.

Joseph with his Uncle George and Aunt Margaret Forsythe in Yorkshire.  

 

(L-R) Frank Burrell (groom's uncle), Len Williams (groom's uncle), Margaret Tinneny (bride's sister), Elsie Hatley (groom's aunt), Gordon Williams (groom), Mary Patricia Williams, (Tinneny) bride, Mary Ellen Tinneny (McShane) bride's mother, Brenda Burrell (groom's niece and bridesmaid), William Tinneny bride's father.

On her 21st birthday Margaret served as bridesmaid in her elder sister Mary Patricia’s wedding to Gordon Williams. The other bridesmaid was Gordon’s niece Brenda Burrell.

September 24,1955 was a very special day for Margaret and the Tinneny family in London and their cousins in Scotland. Her brother Joseph finished his studies for the priesthood and was ordained a priest at East Bergholt. He said his first Mass at the Oblates of Mary Immaculate Church, Quex Road, Kilburn, London.

Joseph giving his father his first blessing.

In the mid-1950s, Margaret decided to try her vocation with the Little Sisters of the Assumption, who had a house in Stamford Hill, London.

Margaret with her parents.

Her older brother Joseph, Rev. Joachim Tinneny OFM, was present for the occasion. He had been recently ordained as a member of the English province of the Order of Friars Minor. Soon after he was to be sent to India as a missionary. Interestingly, originally he was due to be sent to South Africa, but at the last minute his assignation was swapped with that of another Franciscan friar, so Joseph was sent to India instead. That other Franciscan friar was Paschal Rowland OFM, who became the first Bishop of Dundee in South Africa.

Margaret and Joseph.

A photo of Margaret with her family probably taken when she professed her first vows. Left to right in the photo are Margaret’s parents, brother in law Gordon Williams and his wife Pat, Margaret, her brother Joseph, sister Myriam and her younger brother George. The ladies behind the family were likely cousins from Scotland the daughters of Margarets Uncle Patrick. Unlike his siblings, Patrick and his family spelled their name Tinnany.

Although she was well-treated by the sisters during the 2 years she was in the convent, Margaret started to feel unwell and decided that she should leave. Shortly after that, she discovered that she had tuberculosis of the lungs all along. She then had to go to a sanatorium to recover.

Margaret was a hard worker from the time she was 14 years old. After leaving the convent and recovering from the tuberculosis, she went to live with her older sister Pat and her family. Pat helped her get a job in secretarial work with a government agency, as a result of which she had to sign the Official Secrets Act. Margaret told her children that while she was working there one day, her typing was held up by her supervisor as an example of excellence as he said "everyone's typing has to be as good as this" Photo of Margaret dilligently at work.

Margaret center arm in arm with her niece Mary Williams and her mother. The boy standing is nephew John Williams and his brother Robert.

Later Margaret worked for Duckett’s a well known Catholic Bookshop and publisher located at 140 Strand, London. It was often described in trade listings as “London’s leading religious bookshop” and “Britain’s Greatest Catholic Book Centre". Duckett’s specialized in Catholic literature, religious books, and periodicals, with a lending library, reading room and monthly Duckett’s Register listing new titles.

Margaret with her niece and nephew Mary and Robert Williams walking among the pigeons in Trafalgar Square, London.

In 1962, Margaret went on a pilgrimage to Rome organized by the Sons of Divine Providence. Another pilgrim on the tour was as a young man named Ernest James Alford “Jim”, who had also recently left the religious life. Jim was the 3rd of 4 children of William Edwin and Phyllis Bourgoin Alford. He was born November 25,1928 and grew up on a farm in Exton not far from Exmouth in Devon, England.

L-R Jim, with his siblings Mary, Kenneth and Joan.

From an early age, Jim was interested in the Church, singing in the choir in his local Anglican parish, and thought about becoming a vicar. He was also a great student, especially of science and maths, doing chemistry experiments in the barn back at the farm. In the early years of his life, there were already signs of what would become his central calling: to learn and understand, so as then to be able to share that understanding with others, especially with the young.

Growing up Jim experienced some hard times including a very traumatic event as a child. 

As a student, Jim often worked through the night, in order to complete his degree in Chemistry at University College, Exeter, and then a PhD in Organic Chemistry in 1952. But through this combination of hard work, the good Lord was leading him to a crucial moment.

Jim described the crucial event that dramatically changed the course of his life “I was invited to a Jesuit mission. I had never heard anything like this. I was enthralled by the beautiful liturgy of Benediction. But most of all, the intense atmosphere of prayer of those good Irish people really hit me. I felt “this is it”. He took the same rigorous attitude to studying the Catholic faith that he had taken to his scientific studies – after a few lessons of instruction, the priest told him he didn’t need to come anymore because he knew it all already! As before, he yearned to understand. In the next stage of his life, he would find a way to share that understanding with others.

Not long after he became a Catholic, Jim decided to try to become a priest (as he had earlier wanted to be a vicar). So, in 1958 he joined the novitiate of the Society of Missions to Africa in Ireland. Later he would tell his children quite simply and openly that this was the happiest time of his life. However, he left the seminary.

The priests from the seminary continued to help him; they got him jobs in schools in Manchester and Salford, which was providential. Jim’s own children remember him talking about the children he encountered there – especially one little girl who used to put her head on her arms on the desk and fall asleep every morning because her mother worked nights as a nurse and she never slept properly.

He was deeply moved by the combination of wonder and suffering he saw in the eyes of those little children, so well captured in his poem “De Magistro”. It was at that point in his life he began to realize that he could do something great for others through teaching; he could live his vocation as a teacher instead of as a Priest. The poem he wrote puts the vocations of teacher and priest alongside each other.

In 1962, Jim went to St Mary’s College in Twickenham (now St. Mary’s University College) to do teacher training. That was the year he coincidentally met Margaret on a pilgrimage to Rome. Jim and Margaret did not team up as a couple straightaway; it was only after the pilgrimage was over and some time later, they met each other again on the steps of Westminster Cathedral, as one was coming in and the other was coming out, that they started to develop their relationship.

The steps of Westminster Cathedral London.

 

 

 

 

By March 25,1963, Jim and Margaret became engaged in the Lady Chapel of Westminster Cathedral.  

Photo Interior of Chapel. 

 

 

They were married July 16, 1963 by Father Schultz at Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church in the Lewisham section of London. Witnesses were Vincent Bartley, friend of the groom and Mary Williams, the bride’s niece. Many family and friends attended the ceremony. Photo Source: OLOL Parish Bulletin.

     

Family photo of attendees at the wedding. L-R: Renee Tinneny, wife of the bride's brother George; Joan Trevelyan, grooms sister; Mary Williams, bridesmaid and witness, niece of the bride, daughter of Patricia and Gordon Williams; Diane Alford, wife of groom’s brother Ken; William Edwin Alford, father of the groom; Kenneth Alford, brother of the groom; Phyllis Alford, nee Bourgoin, mother of the groom; Mary Alford, grooms sister; the Groom & Bride; George Tinneny, brother of the bride; Mary Ellen Tinneny, nee Mc Shane, mother of the bride; John Stanley, brother in law of the bride, husband of Miriam Tinneny; Vincent Bartley, best man; Robert Williams, son of Miriam Stanley, nee Tinneny, sister of the bride and John Stanley; Patricia Williams, nee Tinneny, sister of the bride; John Williams, son of Patricia and Gordon Williams; Gordon Williams, husband of Patricia Tinneny; Andrew Stanley, son of Miriam and John Stanley; Miriam Stanley, nee Tinneny; Peter Stanley, son of Miriam and John Stanley.

Their first child Helen was born the year after they were married, daughter Hilda was born in 1965, which is when the family moved into St Boniface parish. After, some difficult miscarriages, daughter Lucy was born 1971. When Margaret was in the hospital expecting Lucy, her daughter Helen’s teacher encouraged her to make a card for her mother. Helen was 7 years old at the time. She drew a picture of Santa Claus and wrote on the back: “Hope you’ll have a lovely baby and soon you’ll be an ordinary lady”.

Probably related to the previous miscarriages, Margaret fell into a post-natal depression; at that time, these conditions were not well understood, so she was put on the wrong medication, valiantly struggling later to get herself off it.

Caring for the family, Margaret always wanted to get the best food and would go shopping everyday in Tooting, walking up and down from their house in Moyser Road. Taking the children to school, going up and down from St Boniface primary school, she was sometimes making eight trips up and down the hill, and probably walking over 5 miles a day.

Margaret was a very good cook. She was also a very good seamstress, making really nice clothes for the children. When Hilda got married in 1988, Margaret made all the bridesmaids dresses. She could also knit well, and made the children toys as well as cardigans and jumpers.

In the 1960s, Margaret acquired a nice little Yorkshire Terrier; since she arrived on St Martin’s Feast day, November 11, she was called Martina and they became inseparable.

In 1996, when her grandson Joe was born, Margaret and Jim helped raise Joe while his mother Lucy taught at a special needs school. Joe can remember her teaching him how to read the time on the clock, likely his deep faith is part of her gift to him.

Despite all these other talents, it was Margaret’s religion that was always her main interest and concern. She had great devotion to the image of the Sacred Heart, which was given in a revelation to her patron saint, Margaret Mary Alacoque, and several times she did the “Nine Fridays” ; similarly, she did the “Five Saturdays” that come from the visions in Fatima of Our Lady. Margaret later developed great devotion to the Divine Mercy. She was also very convinced of the power of the rosary, especially for the souls in purgatory. She was especially devoted to St Therese of Lisieux, Padre Pio and St Faustina.

A Family photo.

Back Row L-R: Gemma Bellamy, Nigel Bellamy, Peter Bellamy, Hilda Alford Bellamy, Helen Alford, Lucy Alford, Michael Bellamy, Matthew Bellamy.

Front Row L-R: Joseph Alford, Margaret Alford, Ernest “Jim” Alford, Georgina Ellerington Bellamy.

Margaret also got very involved in the Catholic charismatic renewal and often would bring her children with her to prayer meetings at Westminster Cathedral and, later, at the Friends’ Meeting House at 173 Euston Road in London. Thanks to her involvement in the charismatic renewal, for a while she ran a prayer group in St Boniface parish with another parishioner, Mary Clinton, showing she wanted to make a contribution to the life of faith among other members of the parish.

Pilgrimages were another big part of her life. She would take their children on parish organized pilgrimages to the shrines of Our Lady at Aylesford in Kent and Walsingham in Norfolk. She also went on pilgrimages on her own to Medjugorje and Our Lady of Czestochowa and the city of Cracow. She went on several pilgrimages with Jim after he had retired, especially to the Holy Land.

In 1996, when her grandson Joe was born, Margaret and Jim helped raise Joe while his mother taught at a special needs school. Joe can remember her teaching him how to read the time on the clock, likely his deep faith is part of her gift to him.

Like Margaret, Jim dedicated himself to his family. He took the children to museums and on pilgrimages, always teaching them to understand and showing them the importance of sharing that understanding with others. And he would also love to have a joke – one of his favourites was the reaction of his son-in-law, Nigel, when Jim had recounted to him about a confession he had once made to a blind priest. Jim would say “The priest told me oh, you don’t have anything to confess”. To which Nigel would reply “oh, so he was deaf as well, then?!”.

In 1966, Jim went back to St Mary’s College, as a lecturer in the Chemistry department, where he stayed until his retirement in 1993; one of the highlights of his time there was the wedding of Hilda and Nigel Bellamy, which took place in the chapel at St Mary’s in 1987 with many of family present.

Hilda’s wedding day. L-R her sister Lucy, her parents, Hilda, Nigel’s sister Maria Bellamy and Hilda’s sister Helen. .

After Jim retired, he expanded his long involvement in the life of the parish. Along with singing in the choir and organizing and training the readers, he took over the formation programme of the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) and set up a bible study group. He also started to support the local senior citizens centre, driving the minibus, going to the cash and carry, and doing the accounts.

A couple of years after he retired, he started a part-time Bachelor’s degree in Theology at the seminary in Wonersh, during which he developed a deep interest in biblical studies, not least because of the lectures of Fr Adrian Graffy. It was also at this time that Jim made his profession as a lay Dominican in Rosary Priory, the motherhouse of the community of Dominican sisters to which his daughter Helen belongs and which he loved so much. Helen believed one of the mottos of the Dominicans captured Jim’s life very well: “contemplata aliis tradere”, which means to pass on to others what we have contemplated and understood – exactly what her father’s life was about. And he combined all this with a direct hand in the care of his grandchild Joseph, which he appreciated enormously. He used to say “I missed being with you children when you were small; now I have a second chance with Joe”.

Margaret with Jim, Lucy and Joe.

Margaret and Jim’s daughter Helen entered the order of Dominican Sisters of Saint Catherine of Siena of Newcastle, Natal in 1994 and professed her temporary vows October 5, 1996. September 11, 1999 her parents and family members were present when Helen made her final profession of vows at Saint Dominic’s Haverstock Hill in London. The same church  Margaret often attended as a child.

Helen with her parents.

The parents of Helen and Sister Karen, also being professed, bringing up the offerings in the offertory profession.

Sisters Helen and Sister Karen at the alter.

Helen making her final vows.

Sister Helen, O.P. signing the the profession register.

A family gathering in the garden. Margaret and Jim.

L-R  Margaret and Jim, Nigel Bellamy, their daughter Hilda’s husband, granddaughter Gemma Bellamy, daughter Lucy Alford, daughter Hilda Alford Bellamy, Front  grandsons Peter and Matthew Bellamy. Grandson Michael Bellamy was unable to attend.

Joe with his grandparents Margaret and Jim. c.2022

Towards the end of his life, when dementia had taken hold, it was the presence of his family that comforted Jim. And even when family members and Marjorie, the care-giver for Margaret and Jim, had to help him in ways that would have embarrassed most people, he never got irritated; he always said “thank you” with gentleness and appreciation.

A Loving Journey (2023)

 

 

 

 

Jim passed away June 3. 2023. The funeral Mass celebrating his life was July 14, 2023 at St Boniface Church.The celebrant was Father Shaju Varkey. After the burial at Lambeth Cemetery, Tooting, those in attendance gathered at the Long Room on Mitcham Road to raise a glass in thanksgiving for Jim’s life. The Funeral Mass Program with additional family photographs.

 

 

With Jim's love of reading scripture in mind, the family had his memorial card formatted as a book mark.

After Jim died Margaret needed more nursing care, a place became available in St Mary’s Care Home in Streatham, by English Martyrs parish church. Margaret spent her last 6 months at St Mary’s, where the level of care is second to none. St Mary’s Care Home.Source: St Mary Care Home Website.

As was the case with her beloved Jim, Margaret’s funeral Mass was held at St Boniface Church and attended by many family and friends. Interior of St Boniface Church. Source: Bing.com

In Margaret’s final days, family members were able to visit the home at any time of day or night, given meals, and supported in every way possible. When she finally passed away and the undertakers came to collect her body, all the staff lined up at the entrance to give her a guard of honour as she was carried out, and sang together with one voice “Abide with Me”.

Margaret’s daughter Helen delivered the eulogy during which she described some of the beautiful and unexpected things that happened as Margaret was dying.

First she said Margaret started refusing food and drink over the weekend of the Divine Mercy feast. The final part of her journey began with that feast.

Then Helen related that she herself was due to be at a very important meeting the following week. Pope Francis had appointed her President of the Pontifical Academy of Social Sciences the year before at midday on April 1st (her reaction was he is making a joke?!). The most important meeting of the academy, the plenary, takes place every two years, was due to run from April 9-11.

On the evening of Monday April 8, the day after the feast of the Divine Mercy, Hilda sent Helen a message telling her that the nurses in the home were telling her that Margaret was dying.

So, Helen informed Cardinal Peter Turkson who runs the academy with her, and the former president, that she had booked a flight to London for early evening on Tuesday.

Then, the first unexpected thing that happened. At the Mass to open the plenary, which took place at 8am on Tuesday April 9 and was said by Cardinal Turkson in St Peter’s Basilica, the Cardinal informed everyone that the Mass was being offered for Helen’s intentions. He knew that they would be for her mother, for a peaceful death and for God to receive her into His kingdom, but he also knew that no-one else knew about the situation at that point, so that is why he put it that way. Cardinal Peter Turkson. Credit: yen.com

Then in the opening session of the plenary, she had to tell everyone that her mother was dying and that she would have to leave in the early afternoon to go to the airport. She arrived home on Tuesday evening. Margaret couldn’t show much recognition, but she did manage to raise her elbow a couple of times when she heard Helen’s voice, showing that she knew she was there.

Canon Gregory came to see Margaret the following day and blessed her with Holy Communion.

On the morning of April 11 at 8am, there was the audience with the Pope for the members of the plenary. Helen then read what the Pope said: “Distinguished Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to welcome you, the members of the Pontifical Academy of Social Sciences, which was founded thirty years ago. Our thoughts go to the President, who has gone home because her mother is dying; let us say a prayer for her and for her mother”, after which he stopped and all prayed together for a few moments for Margaret. The plenary ended at 6.30pm that day, and Margaret died that night at 11.35 pm. So, in her last days, Margaret had a Mass offered for her in St Peter’s by a cardinal, and the Pope prayed for her on the very day she died! Pope Francis. Source: usccb.org

Margaret’s Funeral Mass was May 1, 2024 at Saint Boniface Church. The celebrant was Rev, Shaiu Varkey. The Funeral Mass Program with additional family photographs may be viewed here. After the burial at Lambeth Cemetery, Blackshaw Road SW17 0BY, all attended were invited to join with the family at the The Long Room Hotel and Bar, 130 Mitcham Road.

Margaret's Memorial Card.

Margaret was the daughter of William Tinneny and Mary Ellen McShane of Belturbet, County Cavan, Ireland; granddaughter of Robert Tinneny and Bridget Rooney of Belturbet; great-granddaughter of Francis Tinneny and Anne Elliott of Belturbet and great-great-granddaughter of Thomas Tinneny of Goladuff, Newtownbutler, County Fermanagh, Northern Ireland.

Note: This biography is primarily based on the eulogy delivered by Margaret’s daughter, Sister Helen Alford, OP and on associated research. Photos are from the Alford family collection unless otherwise sourced.